Our first & last names are probably the most defining words we utter daily. We define our identity (or at least a portion of it).

My parents named me after an uncle, and my first name is somehow common in Southern Italy (not much in the north). Back then, my parents did not ask themselves whether my name would be “friendly” for a non-Italian audience.

And guess what? It’s not friendly at all.

I came to this realization when I had to spell my name over the phone in English.

Spelling my name was in my Top 3 of “the most dreading experiences” when I moved to the UK. I was no “John Smith.”

Whenever I would spell my name, something would go wrong. Sometimes it was my accent, some other times the poor audio quality of the call, and sometimes who knows what else. Sometimes the person would get my name, and this comment would follow:

Person: “Your name is unusual! It’s similar to Fernando. Are you Spanish?”
Me: “I am Italian! And yes, it’s a more complicated version of Fernando.”
Person: “I see…”

Spelling my last name was even more dramatic. I had no widely known references (like Fernando for my first name) to make things easier. True story: I looked for names similar to Olivieri among popular characters in UK series. Not surprisingly, I found none.

The whole thing gave me anxiety, particularly during high-stakes situations (like talking to my bank). And I am sure it was a headache for the folks on the other end of the phone, just like it was for me.

The solution

As a person with a natural inclination towards “improving” (which most of the time backfires royally – but that’s another story), I started wondering whether I could minimize the pain of having to spell my name.

After trying “Fernando, but add –di– after Fer,” I realized I needed something more solid.

The solution was hiding in plain sight: the NATO Phonetic Alphabet. It had all I needed – standard, widely known, and easy to use.

So I created a note on my phone that looks like this:

F -> Foxtrot, E -> Echo, R -> Romeo, D -> Delta, I  -> India, N -> November, A -> Alfa, N -> November, D -> Delta, O -> Oscar

This note has been a staple in my phone since 2010. It saved me (and the people talking to me on the phone) so much time and pain.

I still use it, even though I do not need it anymore. It’s become a symbol of adaptation and resilience for a person with an exotic name that looks like Fernando but not quite*.

*BTW, when I book a restaurant or some other inconsequential thing, I use Fernando instead of Ferdinando. It’s much easier, and I do not need to evoke the sacred NATO Phonetic Alphabet. It’s a clear win-win!